Thoughts for Thanksgiving 2024

Thanksgiving may be the one holiday that everyone can celebrate. It is an invitation to be grateful for all of life’s blessings. Well, everyone except Indigenous peoples who may prefer not to, all things considered. When I lived in Dearborn, Michigan, Thanksgiving was a big deal. It was common for the interfaith community to hold an interfaith worship service on the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. We would all gather in one of the various houses of worship, a church or a mosque, and worship in English and Arabic, with Christian texts and readings from the Quran. And some time in that week, usually Sunday night, we would all share a big holiday meal of giving thanks. The events were spirit-filled, honing our sense of gratitude for the rich diversity of our community life. They were also a lot of work. Any time a group of people holding different values and beliefs gathers for a shared event there are challenges and also moments of joy.

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Societal Emotional Process and Cutoff in the Family

Seeing a person in the context of their nuclear and multigenerational family illuminates predicable patterns of thinking, feeling and relating that is the crux of Bowen Family Systems theory. Bowen Family Systems theory elucidates the immeasurable power of thinking systems in the evaluation of symptoms an individual is experiencing. Dr. Bowen began to see in the early 1970’s that thinking systems was not only applicable to the lives of families, but was also relevant in application to society as a whole.

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Multi-generational Transmission Process

Dr. Murray Bowen’s research on the science of family interactions observed that humans have a non-genetic heritability as well as a genetic heritability in regards to their personhood; mentally, emotionally, and relationally. This is to say that over a human’s lifespan there is a process of evolution and adaptation transpiring, as opposed to merely a predestined and limitedly determined existence (stasis). Dr. Bowen’s research established conceptually a parallel theory to biology’s concepts of heritability (genetics) and epigenetics in his description of the multigenerational transmission process. This process encapsulates many of the core tenants of Bowen’s research and clinical observations. The multigenerational transmission process describes the reality that as humans in family systems we are reflexively (automatically and unconsciously) feeling, emulating, and responding with each other. There is an inherited nature to our personhood and ways of being that is passed down through the generations in our families. Bowen highlighted that the multigenerational transmission process involves first, the emotional system, which is felt and experienced, and then the relationship system wherein it is expressed.

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Learning to “Think Systems”

“We continuously admonish ourselves for what we do or do not do and continually implore each other to be different. There appears to be an infinite supply of people available to tell us the “right” way to think and the “right” way to act. The vast majority of the admonitions and directives that swirl around us are hopelessly entangled in subjectivity. Depending on the phenomenon under consideration, we blame some thing, some person, some group, some whatever for its presence. We blame genes, chemicals, parents, schools, a variety of “bad” influences, and certain politicians for what goes wrong. Probably the most important subjectivity determined block to observing human behavior has been the earlier described difficulty in seeing the part oneself plays in the functioning of others. Our conceptualizations of human behavior have consistently deemphasized the process between people and focused on the process within people”.

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“Fantastic Fungi, The Magic Beneath Us”: A Documentary Film Review

In a vividly pictorial documentary Paul Stamets, mycologist, takes us on an adventure into an understanding of fungi, how they help trees communicate and how they decompose anything that’s natural based and how they contribute to the regeneration of soil and rebirth of life.  To Stamets nature is intelligent, and it is humans that lack the ability to understand how nature communicates.

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Opportunities for Ongoing Individual Growth: Bowen Theory in Clinical Work

The COVID-19 pandemic brought with it new alternatives for people seeking help with anxiety. Online platforms became a viable option for therapy resulting in easier access to services. While this shift toward technology has increased the number of providers available, wide variations exist among treatment modalities. For those seeking long-term modifications in their lives, finding a provider who can meet both the immediate need and a goal of lasting change can be a challenge. This dual objective is best met by a provider who has the ability to “think systems” while viewing anxiety and other problems from a broad perspective. Whether you are a social worker, a family therapist, coach, teacher, clergy, or a consultants or leader in business, you can increase your knowledge of how human systems function by participating in a Bowen theory post-graduate training program.

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Learning Bowen Theory

My first acquaintance with the thinking of Murray Bowen was through reading “On the Differentiation of Self,” the paper in which Dr. Bowen presents his theory and describes how it guided his effort toward differentiation of self in his own family. In my first couple of readings, I understood little of the theory or what Dr. Bowen was doing on those visits home, but I heard him clearly on the results. His family became calmer and more flexible. Personal communication opened up. Seriousness gave way to humor.

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Unexpected Moments of Connection

Recently a friend introduced me to a colleague of his from another state, and suggested that we meet. I asked why, and he said, “I just think you two will have an interesting conversation”. I trust this person, so when his colleague called, we agreed to get together for lunch when she was visiting family in our area. We did indeed have a rich conversation and that evening I wanted to write some of my thoughts to her. The rest of this blog post started as an email to her, but since my grandchildren (and some of my friends) tell me my emails are always way too long, I decided to turn it into a blog for “The Systems Thinker”.

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The Family Leader

Leaders are often described in terms of their individual characteristics:  special talents or knowledge, confidence, charisma, organizing ability and especially the ability to excite others around an important mission.  Some are “born leaders” and others work at developing leadership skills.  Leadership and followership are reciprocal functions in human systems. Leadership training programs abound, but I know of none on followership training which may be equally important.  One cannot lead if no one follows.

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The Gift That Never Stops Giving

Back in 2004, I was introduced to Bowen Theory by a colleague of mine who gifted me some audio tapes of Dr. Bowen’s lectures. I was sold after listening to the first hour. It was the only psychological theory that truly made sense to me and I was hungry to learn more. Much of the affinity I felt toward Bowen theory resulted from my previous studies and career. My undergraduate degree was in Biology and my first career included doing research in molecular biology in the field that helped develop the statins for circulatory high cholesterol. Because Bowen theory is rooted in the natural sciences, I understood the language and ideas perhaps a tad better than others with no science background.

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Do We Ever Resolve “Unresolved Emotional Attachment”?

Bowen Family Systems Theory often seems counter-intuitive, making it sometimes difficult to grasp, and rarely self-evident. Comprehending an emotional systems perspective of families as a way of understanding engagement between people has little to do with stated intentions, and thus provides a constant challenge. I am always so impressed by certain individuals for whom the theory’s concepts immediately make sense, and who are then able to “see” relatively clearly in their lives many of the patterns Bowen described. While the concepts are theoretically clear to me, recognizing the emotional process in my own life remains frustratingly elusive.

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The Family In Society: Navigating Through Turbulent Times

Dr. Murray Bowen originated a theory of human behavior in the 1950’s and continued to work on it until his death in 1990. Bowen Family Systems Theory is based on his view of the family as a natural system that functions as an emotional unit. Bowen described emotional process in families and how it shapes and is shaped by the responses of each family member.

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CFC Post-Graduate Training Program: Through a Lens of Leadership, Self-Care and Clinical Practice

I had little understanding of Bowen Family Systems Theory prior to attending the Winter Conference in 2012, where two faculty members presented on “Getting Ahead At Work.” They talked about managing self—not other people—and operating from a clear sense of values and principles. The ideas were simple, but also profound and they helped shift my thinking from focus on others to self. From that time on, I began to question my ideas about work (and family) that I had previously thought of as “dysfunctional or unhealthy,” (thinking I had nothing to do with it) and began instead to understand these ideas as normal functions of a system. I was intrigued by the application of Bowen Theory to a leadership approach in a faculty member’s business. I also recall my sense of wonder after watching another faculty member present about her family of origin, in which she described asking her parents to record themselves answering questions about family facts. I marveled about whether my own parents would ever be so supportive.

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The Family Emotional System and the Functioning of Slave Owners, Slaves and their Descendants

Authored by Mignonette N. Keller, Ph. D.

(Abstract of paper to be presented at the 35th Midwest Symposium May 4th, 2018)

This study applies Bowen family systems theory to investigate the factors influencing the functioning of slave owners, slaves and their descendants from a systems perspective.  The findings in this investigation reveal the extent to which there is a direct correlation between the quality of a person’s family relationships and how that person functions.  In effect it is an attempt to answer a basic research question asked …

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Bowen Family Systems Theory

Authored by Jim Smith, M. S., Executive Director of the Western Pennsylvania Family Center in Pittsburgh, PA  

Dr. Murray Bowen (b. 1913 – d. 1990) was a psychiatrist and professor of psychiatry at Georgetown University in Washington, DC.  He was one of the pioneers of family systems theory.

A Search for Scientific Understanding

Early in his career as a psychoanalyst, Bowen sought to understand human behavior and functioning in a way that would be more scientific and objective than the prevailing views of his time.  He thought …

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Cutoff: The challenge of the parent/child relationship

Authored by John Bell, M. Div.

“The more a nuclear family maintains some kind of viable emotional contact with the past generations, the more orderly and asymptomatic the life process in both generations” Murray Bowen, Family Therapy in Clinical Practice, 383.

Phillip Klever, LCSW, LMFT recently published the results of a fifteen-year research project on cutoff in the family.  He studied the most extreme cases in his family of high symptomatology and low symptomatology.  He found five couples on either end of the continuum of symptomatology (high …

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Diagnosis is not Destiny

Authored by Sydney Reed, L.C.S.W.

Three months ago after having been diagnosed with cancer, I sat in my living room and marveled at all the beautiful bouquets, orchids, plants and lovely thoughtful cards that surrounded me.    It brought to mind the article I had read some eight years earlier by Elyn Saks in American Prospect.  She commented that she was in the hospital for cancer surgery and was surrounded by flowers and observed,

“When you are in the hospital for cancer everyone sends you flowers, when you …

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How do people work out their differences?

Authored by Kelly Matthews-Pluta, M.S.W.

In his book on Bowen Family Systems Theory, Mike Kerr stated “The main problem is not differences in points of view; it is the emotional reaction to those differences.  When people can listen without reacting emotionally, communication is wide open and differences are an asset, not a liability”.

This applies when working clinically with an individual, couple or family.  The effort is best focused on probing and questioning individuals to elicit their best thinking.  We know that when the pre frontal cortex …

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Understanding Triangles is Key to Conflict Resolution

Authored by John Bell, M.Div.

The concept of the triangle was one of the first concepts added to Bowen Family Systems Theory in 1955.  Dr. Murray Bowen wrote that the triangle, “a three-person emotional configuration, is the molecule or the basic building block of any emotional system, whether it is in the family or any other group.” (Family Therapy in Clinical Practice, 373)

Three examples of triangles

Let’s say you are the chair of the trustees for your congregation.  You’re about to walk into a worship service and …

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