Center for Family Consultation, Author at Center for Family ConsultationCenter for Family Consultation

Thoughts for Thanksgiving 2024

Post Date November 27, 2024

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Acute Anxiety, Bowen Family Systems Theory, Chronic Anxiety, Differentiation of Self, Emotional Cut-Off, Emotional Fusion, Terri C. Pilarski

Thanksgiving may be the one holiday that everyone can celebrate. It is an invitation to be grateful for all of life’s blessings. Well, everyone except Indigenous peoples who may prefer not to, all things considered. When I lived in Dearborn, Michigan, Thanksgiving was a big deal. It was common for the interfaith community to hold an interfaith worship service on the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. We would all gather in one of the various houses of worship, a church or a mosque, and worship in English and Arabic, with Christian texts and readings from the Quran. And some time in that week, usually Sunday night, we would all share a big holiday meal of giving thanks. The events were spirit-filled, honing our sense of gratitude for the rich diversity of our community life. They were also a lot of work. Any time a group of people holding different values and beliefs gathers for a shared event there are challenges and also moments of joy.

Becoming a Family of Four

Post Date October 30, 2024

Comments 15 Comments

Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Bowen Family Systems Theory, Caitlin Baldauff, Differentiation of Self, Family Emotional Process, Family of Origin

This June I gave birth to my second child, Jacob. My oldest, Corbin, is three years old. Brian and I anticipated a season full of stress, “big feelings” and regression as we adjusted to a new family norm. We forecasted challenges and made adjustments intended to prepare Corbin for the addition to our family. I reflected on my emotional responses from having our first to prepare myself. We are three months in, and it has been a whirlwind of experiences.

Healing and Emotional Process in Society

Post Date August 19, 2024

Comments 26 Comments

Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Bowen Family Systems Theory, Chronic Anxiety, Differentiation of Self, Family Emotional Process, Societal Emotional Process, Societal Regression, Terri C. Pilarski

In my thirties, following a career in modern dance and then interior design, I became a stay-at-home mom. After a few years I began looking for something I could do for a little income and to keep me engaged with other adults. At that time massage therapy was emerging as an accredited profession with training and a state license required to practice. I attended a 14-month intensive training. I learned about every muscle, ligament, tendon, and bone in the body, how they moved and worked together. I learned about facia and connective tissue and the idea of referred pain. Sometimes when one has pain in the body the origin of that pain is elsewhere in the body, carried along the facia like a snag in a sweater that runs to a different area. The body communicates in amazing ways and as a massage therapist I loved to follow the path of pain and alleviate it.

Societal Emotional Process and Cutoff in the Family

Post Date August 14, 2024

Comments 1 Comment

Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Alana C. Smith, Bowen Family Systems Theory, Emotional Cut-Off, Family Emotional Process, Societal Emotional Process

Seeing a person in the context of their nuclear and multigenerational family illuminates predicable patterns of thinking, feeling and relating that is the crux of Bowen Family Systems theory. Bowen Family Systems theory elucidates the immeasurable power of thinking systems in the evaluation of symptoms an individual is experiencing. Dr. Bowen began to see in the early 1970’s that thinking systems was not only applicable to the lives of families, but was also relevant in application to society as a whole.

Bowen Theory, Science, and Research

Post Date July 29, 2024

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Annual Fall Conference, Bowen Theory Research, Climate Change, Family Sysytems Theory Research, Robert J. Noone

Murray Bowen’s interest in a science of human behavior didn’t begin with the intention of developing a new theory. His initial effort was to contribute to the then existing paradigm in the field of mental health becoming more scientific. His research and exploration of the sciences across disciplines led to the recognition that psychoanalysis and the various personality theories derived from it lacked the capacity to move toward science.

Cut-Off and the Role of a Bowen Coach

Post Date June 11, 2024

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Bowen Family Systems Theory, Cecilia Guzman, Chronic Anxiety, Differentiation of Self, Emotional Cut-Off, Emotional Fusion, Family Emotional Process

Bowen Family Systems Theory, developed by Dr. Murray Bowen in the mid-20th century, revolutionized the understanding of human behavior within the context of familial relationships. One of the key concepts within this theory is “emotional cut-off,” a phenomenon that describes how individuals manage unresolved emotional issues with family members by reducing or completely cutting off emotional contact. This blog delves into the concept of emotional cut-off, its implications, underlying mechanisms, and its impact on individuals and family dynamics.

Frans de Waal, Our First Symposium Speaker

Post Date April 3, 2024

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Annual Conferences, Annual Midwest Symposium, Bowen Family Systems Theory, Sydney K. Reed

Frans de Waal, 75, Who Believed Apes Had Cognition, Dies so said the obituary by Alex Traub in the New York Times on Saturday, March 23, 2024.

“Frans de Waal, who used his study of the inner life of animals to build a powerful case that apes think, feel, strategize pass down culture and act on moral sentiments – and that humans are not quite as special as many like to think- died on March 14 at his home in Stone Mountain, Ga.”

Reflections on the 4th International Conference on Bowen Theory

Post Date March 20, 2024

Comments 1 Comment

Author Center for Family Consultation

Category 4th International Conference on Bowen Family Sysytems Theory, Bowen Family Systems Theory, Bowen Theory Research, Events, Family Sysytems Theory Research, John Bell

Bowen theory has certainly come a long way even since the first international conference held in 2015 in Pittsburg, PA at the Western Pennsylvania Family Center. One of its founding members and long-term executive directors, Jim Smith was a pioneer in making theory available worldwide and in organizing this first ever international conference. Since then, international conferences have been held in Hong Kong (2018), Sweden (2022) and most recently, Miami, Florida.

Multi-generational Transmission Process

Post Date June 7, 2023

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Alana C. Smith, Bowen Family Systems Theory, Family Emotional Process

Dr. Murray Bowen’s research on the science of family interactions observed that humans have a non-genetic heritability as well as a genetic heritability in regards to their personhood; mentally, emotionally, and relationally. This is to say that over a human’s lifespan there is a process of evolution and adaptation transpiring, as opposed to merely a predestined and limitedly determined existence (stasis). Dr. Bowen’s research established conceptually a parallel theory to biology’s concepts of heritability (genetics) and epigenetics in his description of the multigenerational transmission process. This process encapsulates many of the core tenants of Bowen’s research and clinical observations. The multigenerational transmission process describes the reality that as humans in family systems we are reflexively (automatically and unconsciously) feeling, emulating, and responding with each other. There is an inherited nature to our personhood and ways of being that is passed down through the generations in our families. Bowen highlighted that the multigenerational transmission process involves first, the emotional system, which is felt and experienced, and then the relationship system wherein it is expressed.

Learning to “Think Systems”

Post Date April 9, 2023

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Bowen Family Systems Theory, Differentiation of Self, Post Graduate Training, Robin Shultz

“We continuously admonish ourselves for what we do or do not do and continually implore each other to be different. There appears to be an infinite supply of people available to tell us the “right” way to think and the “right” way to act. The vast majority of the admonitions and directives that swirl around us are hopelessly entangled in subjectivity. Depending on the phenomenon under consideration, we blame some thing, some person, some group, some whatever for its presence. We blame genes, chemicals, parents, schools, a variety of “bad” influences, and certain politicians for what goes wrong. Probably the most important subjectivity determined block to observing human behavior has been the earlier described difficulty in seeing the part oneself plays in the functioning of others. Our conceptualizations of human behavior have consistently deemphasized the process between people and focused on the process within people”.

A Review of John O’Donohue’s “Bless the Space Between Us”

Post Date April 4, 2023

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Book Review, Bowen Family Systems Theory, Family of Origin, John Bell

In his book, To Bless the Space Between Us, John O’Donohue sets out to write a book of blessings that follow what he calls, “the seven rhythms of the human journey: beginnings, desires, thresholds, homecoming, states of the heart, callings, and beyond endings.” In chapter 4, Homecomings, O’Donohue describes the trajectory of human development from birth to adulthood.

“Fantastic Fungi, The Magic Beneath Us”: A Documentary Film Review

Post Date January 31, 2023

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Bowen Family Systems Theory, Don Targonski

In a vividly pictorial documentary Paul Stamets, mycologist, takes us on an adventure into an understanding of fungi, how they help trees communicate and how they decompose anything that’s natural based and how they contribute to the regeneration of soil and rebirth of life. To Stamets nature is intelligent, and it is humans that lack the ability to understand how nature communicates.

Differences That Make a Difference: Defining Self in an Intercultural Context

Post Date December 7, 2022

Comments 9 Comments

Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Bowen Family Systems Theory, Terri C. Pilarski

In 2018 and I embarked on a journey of study on intercultural competency, anticipating that Bowen Theory would play a role in this study. The hope was that I, as the Rector, would be able to lead my English-speaking Episcopal congregation, comprised primarily of white people of European descent, into forming an effective partnership with an Arabic speaking congregation of people from Lebanon, Egypt, and Palestine, with whom we were going to share a building. What developed from the study informed my hypothesis that congregational anxiety can be lowered when the congregation establishes its sense of purpose, it’s mission. In particular I have been exploring how commitment to a clearly stated mission of the congregation can function in the emotional process of a congregation in much the same way as a person who defines “one’s-self” functions in a family.

Opportunities for Ongoing Individual Growth: Bowen Theory in Clinical Work

Post Date November 1, 2022

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Bowen Family Systems Theory, Post Graduate Training, Robin Shultz

The COVID-19 pandemic brought with it new alternatives for people seeking help with anxiety. Online platforms became a viable option for therapy resulting in easier access to services. While this shift toward technology has increased the number of providers available, wide variations exist among treatment modalities. For those seeking long-term modifications in their lives, finding a provider who can meet both the immediate need and a goal of lasting change can be a challenge. This dual objective is best met by a provider who has the ability to “think systems” while viewing anxiety and other problems from a broad perspective. Whether you are a social worker, a family therapist, coach, teacher, clergy, or a consultants or leader in business, you can increase your knowledge of how human systems function by participating in a Bowen theory post-graduate training program.

Reactivity Paused: Took a Breath and a Stand

Post Date October 10, 2022

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Bowen Family Systems Theory, Post Graduate Training, Scott Hoecker

My understanding of differentiation of self after listening to Murray Bowen and reading the materials is that each person emerges from the multi-generational family organism with a certain amount of undifferentiation (or fusion) that needs to be handled using various mechanisms such as distance, conflict, over/under-functioning, and/or projection to the next generation. The more self that one has, the less intense these mechanisms will appear given a certain level of anxiety. With that same level of anxiety, a person with less self than the previous person, the mechanisms will be more intense.

Reflections on the 3rd International Conference on Bowen Family Systems Theory

Post Date June 23, 2022

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category 3rd International Conference on Bowen Family Systems Theory, Bowen Family Systems Theory, Differentiation of Self, John Bell

The Lapland of northern Sweden proved to be an idyllic location for the 3rd International Conference. Like the waters, reindeer and midnight sun intrinsic to the land, observations of differentiation of self were integral to the many excellent presentations I attended.

Michael Kerr, A Review and Presentation on Leonard Mlodinow’s book, “Emotional: How Feelings Shape Our Thinking”

Post Date June 2, 2022

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Annual Conferences, Bowen Family Systems Theory, Differentiation of Self, Ethan Strauss, Family Emotional Process, Terri C. Pilarski

Dr. Kerr’s presentation at the Midwest Symposium on May 6, 2022, on Leonard Mlodinow’s book, “Emotional: How Feelings Shape Our Thinking” focused on a key component of Bowen Systems Theory: developing the capacity for self-regulation and the impact of anxiety on one’s ability to self-regulate. Mlodinow discusses the impact of anxiety on brain function writing: “an anxious state leads to pessimistic cognitive bias – when an anxious brain processes ambiguous information it tends to choose the more pessimistic among the likely interpretations.” (Chapter 4, How Emotions Guide Thought). Kerr emphasized two aspects from Mlodinow’s book: Motivation and Determination.

The Composition of the Family System and Adaptive Success

Post Date May 20, 2022

Comments 0 Comments

Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Annual Conferences, Differentiation of Self, Ethan Strauss, Family Emotional Process, Post Graduate Training

This presentation by Dr. Dan Papero focused primarily on how concepts related to adaptive success or failure apply to the family system. Dr. Papero observes that the human family faces similar pressures to adapt to changes in the environment as all living things do. One way that helps me to think about this concept is to relate it to the functioning of ant colonies that are discussed in Chapter 12 of “The Family Emotional System”, edited by Robert J. Noone and Daniel V. Papero. The ant colonies clearly do not function as a collection of individuals working toward a common goal, but more as a single organism with each individual as more of an appendage. The human family faces similar pressures from the environment, which require a response from the system if it is going to survive and thrive.

The Survival and Adaptation of the African American Family Mignonette Nunn Keller, PhD Summary of Dr. Keller’s presentation at the CFC Summer Conference in 2021

Post Date October 27, 2021

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Differentiation of Self, Don Targonski

“How does a slave develop a self in an oppressive dehumanizing system forcing him into a no-self position?” a question posed by Murray Bowen, MD was addressed in the conference “The Survival and Adaptation of the African American Family”, a presentation by Mignonette Nunn Keller, PhD. at the Center for Family Consultation, July 23, 2021. Bowen’s conceptualization of chronic anxiety and “differentiation of self” traced the early years of Aaron Guice, his family experiences with two slave owners, and his relationships with his second owner’s family. Aaron Guice was sold at approximately age 14 to his second owner. He was able to exercise principled oriented decisions in delaying marriage and children, being able to accept both his black and white heritage and continuing to have positive relationships with both black and white family members. From this writer’s perspective, some positive external experiences and his being a free spirit and having some distance from the emotional system he grew in enabled him to develop sufficient “self” to withstand the stresses and losses he experienced growing up.

Process, Process, Process

Post Date October 14, 2021

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Author Center for Family Consultation

Category Differentiation of Self, Family Emotional Process, Kelly Matthews-Pluta

You may be familiar with the old saying about the three most important things in real estate: Location, location, location. This means there is one most important thing in every aspect of our lives. In Bowen theory, the cornerstone concept of differentiation of self holds that pivotal position. To deeply know oneself and work toward a more separate yet connected self is the key. Being focused on the act of becoming more differentiated requires thinking about process. How do you see yourself and your reactivity more clearly and objectively? And then, how do you work to respond differently when you observe high reactivity?