Reacting to a Racist Family Member

Authored by John Bell, M. Div.

As I followed the news about Charlottesville, I came across a story of a family coming to grips with the revelation that their son participated in the organized rally of white nationalists.  I’ve decided not to reprint their names.  The story is about a father who published a letter online in response to his son’s participation in the rally.  In the letter, the father repudiates the son’s beliefs and behavior.  The father tells the son that he is not welcomed …

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Polarization: What Happened to the Continuum?

Authored by John Bell, M.Div.

The ideas presented in this blog are taken from a new training module that is available to congregations and community stakeholders who are interested in addressing polarization in their communities.  If you’d like more information about the training, contact John Bell at john@thinkingcongregations.com. Reverend Bell also presented these concepts on May 6, 2017 at the 34th Midwest Symposium Theory and Therapy.

Polarization takes a toll on communities and creates additional problems for institutions.  Compromise, collaboration, and cooperation are replaced with confrontation, obstinacy, …

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Blame and Blaming

Authored by Kelly Matthews-Pluta, M.S.W.

One of the central ideas of Bowen Theory is differentiation of self—a concept of how one sees oneself, emotionally, as an individual and in relationship to and with others.  Often people studying Bowen Theory struggle with the idea of separation of self and other.  Of course, it is complicated.  The two, self and other, are at the same time both separate and connected.  It is exactly that paradox which makes the concept challenging for many: “Am I a separate self or …

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Symposia, Science: Why it Matters

Authored by Cecilia Guzman, M.S.

It is clear that one of Dr. Bowen’s primary goals in developing his Family Systems Theory was to merge the understanding of human behavior and functioning from simply a “soft science” or one that has little objectivity towards a more “hard science”, one that incorporates and is consistent with research in biology, evolution, biochemistry, neuroscience, genetics, etc. Indeed, his theory was developed on the assumption “that an understanding of man’s emotional functioning must extend beyond psychological constructs to recognize the human’s …

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Cutoff: The challenge of the parent/child relationship

Authored by John Bell, M. Div.

“The more a nuclear family maintains some kind of viable emotional contact with the past generations, the more orderly and asymptomatic the life process in both generations” Murray Bowen, Family Therapy in Clinical Practice, 383.

Phillip Klever, LCSW, LMFT recently published the results of a fifteen-year research project on cutoff in the family.  He studied the most extreme cases in his family of high symptomatology and low symptomatology.  He found five couples on either end of the continuum of symptomatology (high …

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How do people work out their differences?

Authored by Kelly Matthews-Pluta, M.S.W.

In his book on Bowen Family Systems Theory, Mike Kerr stated “The main problem is not differences in points of view; it is the emotional reaction to those differences.  When people can listen without reacting emotionally, communication is wide open and differences are an asset, not a liability”.

This applies when working clinically with an individual, couple or family.  The effort is best focused on probing and questioning individuals to elicit their best thinking.  We know that when the pre frontal cortex …

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Understanding Triangles is Key to Conflict Resolution

Authored by John Bell, M.Div.

The concept of the triangle was one of the first concepts added to Bowen Family Systems Theory in 1955.  Dr. Murray Bowen wrote that the triangle, “a three-person emotional configuration, is the molecule or the basic building block of any emotional system, whether it is in the family or any other group.” (Family Therapy in Clinical Practice, 373)

Three examples of triangles

Let’s say you are the chair of the trustees for your congregation.  You’re about to walk into a worship service and …

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The Thinking, Feeling, and Emotional Systems

Authored by Robert J. Noone, Ph.D.

Bowen theory posits that the interdependent functioning of the intellectual, feeling, and emotional systems of an individual are central to an individual’s overall adaptiveness over a life course.

The prolonged development of the human brain takes place in the context of the highly integrated relationship system of the family. The interactive processing of signals from within the brain, body, and family shapes individual development. The strengthening of neural circuits occurs in the context of the relationship circuitry of the family. Thus …

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Highlights from The 53rd Symposium on Family Theory and Family Psychotherapy

Authored by Kelly Mathews-Pluta, M.S.W., and Robert Noone, PhD.

The Symposium on Family Theory and Family Psychotherapy offered by the Bowen Center for the Study of Family in Washington, DC was held November 4th and 5th, 2016. This Annual Symposium brings together the liveliest minds in the Bowen network to present, question, and discuss the latest research and ideas about Bowen theory. As always, the Symposium also features a Distinguished Guest Lecturer from another discipline whose research is relevant to Bowen theory. Bowen theory is not …

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Bridging the Distance

Authored by Kelly Matthews-Pluta, MSW

Aaron Beck, the founder of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, once said “Evolution favors an anxious gene”.  The idea that we humans are biologically built for fight, flight or freeze is commonly known but little understood.  Over the last hundred years’ human life has gotten safer.  Over the last 500 years it has gotten much safer.  However, human evolution has not caught up with our modern, safer world.  Modern life and death can still hinge on how well we respond to an acute …

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The Hospital Visit

Authored by John Bell, M. Div.

Early on in my career, I used to stress over hospital visits.  I didn’t mind going to the hospital.  Growing up, I saw hospitals as helpful and caring places.  My stress about making hospital visits had more to do with my role as clergy.  I worried about encountering the unexpected and having to think on my feet; having to know what to say or do or what not to say or do.

To me, what is challenging about hospital visits is …

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Does Meditation Foster Differentiation of Self?

Authored by:  Erik Thompson, M. A.

Licensed Psychologist-Masters

Principal, Thompson Leadership Development, Inc., and Executive Director, Vermont Center for Family Studies

“Just as a solid rock is not shaken by the storm, even so the wise are not affected by praise or blame.”

-The Yoga Vashishtha, 6th Century BC

Bowen theorists have developed a unique set of tools for expanding personal, family, and organizational health, including seeing the group as a system, managing self, de-triangling, and strengthening overall relationship capital with original members.  More “self” decreases chronic anxiety and reactivity …

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A Bowen theory perspective on Melvin Konner’s Women After All: Sex, Evolution and the End of Male Supremacy

Authored by Stephanie Ferrera

Melvin Konner begins his book, Women After All: Sex, Evolution, and the End of Male Supremacy, stating: “This is a book with a very simple argument:  women are not equal to men; they are superior in many ways, and in most ways that will count in the future.”  (p. 3)  As part of his discussion on how humans evolved toward male supremacy, Konner introduces “an old distinction in sociology between gemeinschaft and gesellschaft—community and society.” (p. 159) Until about 10,000 years ago, …

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Mountains are Bigger than Me

Authored by Cecilia Guzman

This past summer my husband and I and two other couples hiked the Inca trail to see the ancient ruins of Machu Picchu in Peru. We talked about it and planned it thoroughly and I started my physical training 5 months before we departed. The hiking portion of our trip consisted of a 4 day, 3 night journey through the Andes Mountains reaching a height of almost 14,000 feet. The adventure outfitters provided a local guide and 12 native Inca porters who …

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Fooling Self and Others: Self-Deception in the Practice of Differentiation of Self

Authored by Jim Smith, M. S.

In this presentation I did a brief review of the extensive literature on self-deception in the evolutionary biology literature, including evolutionary biologist Robert Triver’s theory of self-deception. I then discussed self-deception from the perspective of Bowen’s idea of the pseudo-self, using examples from my effort to define a self in my own family.

“Deceitful behavior has a long and storied history in the evolution of social life, and the more sophisticated the animal, it seems, the more commonplace the con games, …

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What Spock Taught Me About Being More Differentiated

Authored by Cecilia Guzman

“Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end.”
—Spock

It was 1969 and I was seven years old watching the TV show Star Trek for the first time and feeling as if my world changed. I was enthralled by this creature named Spock who was always so calm and intelligent. I didn’t realize it at the time, but as I matured the relationship between Captain Kirk (full human) and Spock (half human, half Vulcan) began to influence the way I defined …

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Fiction as a Regulator of the Mental Health Field: The Case of Sybill

Authored by Margaret Otto

Murray Bowen, MD developed the concept of differentiation and societal emotional process. The basic idea is that emotional forces in families correlate to emotional forces in society. This process can be progressive or regressive with individuals and families at the lower level of differentiation being the most vulnerable to environmental influence.  As anxiety increases and individuality decreases, functioning lowers and symptom severity increases. Broader societal processes and the stressed emotional fields created can have a debilitating effect on individuals and the social functioning …

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“Toward a Systems Theory of Cancer”, Summary of a presentation by Michael E. Kerr, M.D.

Authored by Stephanie Ferrera

At the Annual Midwest Symposium on Bowen Theory, May 2 -3, 2014, Dr. Kerr presented on his longstanding interest in the relationship between health, illness, and the family emotional system, and has done extensive research with cancer patients and their families.  In this presentation, he gave an overview of the systems thinking that researchers are bringing to the study of cancer, and showed how this fits with the systems thinking in Bowen theory.

Dr. Kerr began his presentation with the idea of an …

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Dr. Raison’s Invitation to Bowen Theory Researchers for Collaboration

Authored by Sydney K. Reed, M.S.W.

In the previous blog post, Leslie Fox highlighted interesting points from Dr. Raison’s talk.    He warned us that he might be entertaining, an adaptation useful in a career of teaching undergraduates.  In deed, he had us laughing frequently.  It made me think about the notions of the origins of laughter.  Some think that laughter evolved as a signal mechanism to tell the group that they were out of danger and could relax and connect socially, thus building community.

Dr.. Raison’s talk …

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Connecting Inflammation, Depression and Compassion Meditation Training

Authored by Leslie Ann Fox

Did you know that only 10% of the cells in our bodies are mammalian—that 90% are bacteria? When someone can think in evolutionary ways all the way back to when all life on earth was bacteria, and see that we humans are still primarily bacteria, it really gets you thinking differently about your family history…but I will leave that for another day.

At the 31st Annual Midwest Symposium in Wilmette, IL on May 2nd and 3rd, 2014, Charles Raison, MD presented his …

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